Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
I received this advice in an email yesterday from Spence. He has obviously not seen my desk yet! I already adhere to all of these. Although it has to be said my desk at home is marginally better. If only because my computer at home is better.
Amongst other snippets of advice there are;
Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
Dave at work however subscribes to this one;
Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss – and you will get caught — your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.