another nigerian spam

From: [email protected]
Subject: Invitation to act as Next-of-Kin
Date: 1 October 2000 09:15:28 BDT
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Reply-To: [email protected]

From the Desk: Barrister. Thomas Cole.
Thomas Cole & partners.
25 Wilson Road
Olodi Apapa
Lagos- Nigeria.
Private / Highly Confidential
Subject Matter: Invitation to act as Next-of-Kin

Good day to you,

I presume this letter will come to you as a surprise, but as things unfold, we will know each other better. Iwill start by introducing myself to you. My name is Thomas Cole a solicitor at law. I am writing in respect ofa foreigner who happens to be my client an oil merchant and contractor (Mr. Richard Burson) whoperished in a plane crash of 31st October 1999[WITH EGYPTIAN AIRLINE 990] with other passengers aboard as youcan confirm it yourself through the website below.

Since the demise of my client I personally have watched with keen interest to see the next of kin but all hasproved abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of US$28.5m(Twenty Eight Million Five Hundred ThousandUnited States Dollar) and all the relevant documents in the bank has no record of any next of kin. On thisnote, I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as his next of kin so i have contacted you to assistin repatriating most especially, the money left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declaredunserviceable by the bank where the huge deposits were lodged.

Particularly, the Union bank Nig Plc where thedeceased had an account valued at about Usd28.5 million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the Next ofkin, or have the account confiscated.

I seek your consent to present you as the Next of kin of the deceased since you bear the same last name sothat the proceeds of this account valued at Usd28.5 million dollars can be paid to you, as my clients Next ofKin, and then we can share the amount on a mutual agreed percentage All legal documents to back up your claimas the deceased Next of Kin will be provided.
All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will beexecuted under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law and you shouldendeavor to keep it confidential.

Please get in touch with me, to enable us discuss further about this transaction. Reply to this email: [email protected]

Best regards,
Thomas Cole


So eBay take out a full pae advert in Metro today saying they are having a Christmas Treasure Hunt. The code word for today is ‘REINDEER’ and that you should use your ingenuity to try to win a designer watch every two hours!
So doing a quick search for reindeer (as you do) I came across a man selling ‘reindeer food’ surely a scam. Then of course there is item number 5942611997 which is definitely a scam and only one of many spammers trying to cash in on eBay’s advertising I guess. It’s titled ‘Turn ?3 ($5) into ?10,000 ($18,000) This really Works – Try it for yourself ‘
So until eBay puts a report this auction now button I gess people are still gooing to be worried about fraud. Moreover new people looking at eBay because of their advertising are going to be getting mixed messaging.

one born every minute

In amongst my spam mails today I got another of the Lagos Bank Scams. I always wonder how people fall for such gambits.

Standard Trust Bank of Nigeria,


I am Alhaji Ahmed Dasuki, The manager, Bills and Exchange at
the Foreign Remittance Department of the Standard
Trust Bank of Nigeria Plc. I am writing this letter to
ask for your support and cooperation to carry out this
business opportunity in my department. We discovered
an abandoned sum of $15,000,000.00 (Fifteen million
United States Dollars only) in an account that belongs
to one of our foreign customers who died along with
his entire family of a wife and two children in
November 1997 in a Plane crash.

Since we heard of his death, we have been expecting
his next-of-kin to come over and put claims for his
money as the heir, because we cannot release the fund
from his account unless someone applies for claim as
the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in our
banking guidelines. Unfortunately, neither their
family member nor distant relative has ever appeared
to claim the said fund. Upon this discovery, I and
other officials in my department have agreed to make
business with you and release the total amount into
your account as the heir of the fund since no one came
for it or discovered he maintained account with our
bank, otherwise the fund will be returned to the banks
treasury as unclaimed fund.

We have agreed that our ratio of sharing will be as
stated thus; 20 % for you as foreign partner, 75 % for
us the officials in my department and 5 % for the
settlement of all local and foreign expenses incurred
by us and you during the course of this business.

Upon the successful completion of this transfer, I and
one of my colleagues will come to your country and
mind our share. It is from our 75% we intend to import
Agricultural Machineries into my country as a way of
recycling the fund. To commence this transaction, we
require you to immediately indicate your interest by a
return e-mail and enclose your private contact
telephone number, fax number full name and address and
your designated bank coordinates to enable us file
letter of claim to the appropriate departments for
necessary approvals before the transfer can be made.

Note also, this transaction must be kept STRICTLY
CONFIDENTIAL because of its nature.

I look forward to receiving your prompt response at my
private email: [email protected]

If you do not intend to help me, i will respect your
privacy and not contact you again.

Thank you

Ahmed Dasuki

Sydney Mardi Gras 2004

united grrrr
san fran airport grrrr
red carpet lounge reasonable
stupid us customs and immigration even though i was only in transit grrrr
okay so I arrived late and have vowed never to fly united ever again. seriously it’s no wonder they are in chapter 11 bancruptcy protection.
i had of course forgotten to send jo the flight details and so she was waiting folornly at sydney airport for me having taken her morning conference call on her mobile. bless did I ever mention I loved that girl? she’s a star.
We nipped back to Balmain for a quick brunch (although quite what meal it would be for me i’m not really sure) at Jo’s favourite local cafe and i was lusting after the cook/server immediately. welcome to sydney :o)
Whilst Jo rushed to work to catch up on the morning i had made her miss i pottered around Balmain and acclimatised to the sudden onset of summer (although Jo and Michelle kept telling me it had cooled down)
That evening we headed out for food and drinks with Jo’s work mates before heading into town and started where I left off last year at Crown and Oxford for drinks at the Colombian. I really do think it’s my favourite bar, it’s friendly and full of cute guys.
Jo had said she bet me $5 that I would pull within the first 24 hours sadly despite the horny guys I knew better as I had come less than single this year.
So I crashed and burned (jetlag) fairly soon afterwards and we headed back to Balmain for some much needed sleep in a lovely flat bed.
Saturday we hit bondi after a garage sale to get rid of a few extra sofa’s since the girls were moving to Darlinghurst the following weekend (yes to two blocks down from taylor square on the day of mardi gras).
So after some sun and fun in bondi we headed back for another meal out (i’m convinced no one eats in or cooks for themselves in oz) and then more drinks.
On the way back we stopped for pizza in paddington and realised we had completely forgotten about shop! damn so I had missed herb and the boys in drag for the second year in a row.
Sunday was the build up to harbour party (azure) and then after arriving at the party a bit of a blur of retro music including Celine Dion – I drove all night, Barry Manilow – Love is in the air and Randy Crawford – One day I’ll fly away. All very very surreal and yet we danced to all of them. Also bumped into Tony and the boys from last years harbour party but missed Bettina and Margi. All in all a very fun afternoon/evening marred only by the guys asking to borrow a crack pipe at the end of the evening – like do we look like we smoke crack? Next year we have decided just to hire a yaught and moor off the party like the other beautiful sydneysiders who had failed to get tickets had done.
So without any of the after parties or other fun of last year (fnar) we headed back to Balmain for some hard earned rest.
Monday I managed to wander around Balmain and do some mundane grocery shopping and the like, although it seems much more glam to be doing it in Balmain than Balham. Also a quick trip into town to ensure I remmebered the bus route for when the kiwi boys arrived.
Monday night was spent in front of the TV with popcorn and the Oscars. Noozleland sweeped the board and we were dreading the kiwi’s arrival by this point. When the nice australian man Adam Elliot won his and thanked his beautiful boyfriend Dan we all laughed heartily. It’s amazing the storm in some of the papers caused by that the following day. As Mr Elliot pointed out everyone else was thanking their wives and partners why should he be any different?
Tuesday was another trip into Sydney for relaxed shopping and coffees whilst trying to catch up with Gary from Christchurch who was over for a conference for the start of the week. Failing to catch up with him I returned to Balmain. A few cosmo’s later and Michelle and I were more than a little merry. By the time Jo got home we were watching ‘The Bill’ and giggling so we decided food would be a good idea and went for a meal in Balmain. Another bottle of wine later we were all more than merry and stopped for ice cream at Gelatisimo where the two boys behind the counter made a play for one (or all) of us we weren’t quite sure. Neither of them was over 18 though so none of us were that fussed.
Wednesday was the arrival of Dave from Wellington. So after a wander around town and a coffee or two we checked into the lovely Macquarie Hotel. Tanya the lovely lady from accommodation however had some bad news in that the wonders of internet bookings and real systems did not match up and we may not have a room for the entire period. Not good when I was trying to stay out of the girls way pending their move to Bourke Street. Still not to worry. We figured we could wing it with friends if we got really stuck.
Staying centrally meant we had plenty of time to wander up and down Oxford St and Pitt St without the hassle of a bus ride or train journey in.
So after meeting up with Dave we ended up at circular quay for a brief sunbathe and to soak up some of the view. You still can’t beat the view of the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge. It’s one of the best sights and most recognisable too.
Thursday was Pam Ann and the Imperial Having seen her on a tiny stage in the corner of the 2 Brewers it was quite a shock. She had an entire stage to herself and a group of dancing boys :o) She was also sponsored up to the preverbial hilt. We followed the show with a trip to The Imperial where the boys watched dodgy caberet in the back bar and I caught up with Bettina and Margy in the front bar.
Friday was… wagamama?
The day of Mardi Gras arrived and Gary and I wandered into town despite the rain. We headed over to Jo’s new pad to see the place. They were moving in so we helped a bit and dried off. Then wandered for beers to The Colombian. We made some new friends and got merry. A few beers later and we got frisky (but not as bad as last year. We went back to the hotel to get showered and changed before heading back up the road. Our new mates were shocked to see us back so soon – they expected us to be shagging or something 😉
Then we met the others at Daves cousins new pad conveniently located above Starbucks on Oxford St a few paces from our favourite bar! The rain was torrential but we ventured with others to the roof terrace to watch the parade every now and then instead of out the window. Talk about rain on the parade!
Back to the hotel for another change and then hailing a cab (you would think that was easy but oh no…) before the maddness that is Sydney Lesbian & Gay Mardi Gras.
More to come.

spamcop is the mutts nuts

I hardly get any spam nowadays – well worth the $30 a year subscription for filtering out my mail. I get a held mail report every day letting me check the filters aren’t stealing legitimate mail. One of todays held mails has me wondering though.
From: “Alexandra Quinn”
Subject: Brother inducing his young sister

Are the selling a video of a brother helping his sister give birth?

Only in america

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.

This is one of a selection Jonathan has kindly posted from the Stella Awards.

blogger goes for the bucks

and I must say I am not suprised – blogger took off like wildfire and their traffic must be enormous and there is only so long you can continue something like that for free. So $30 or so a year for the service seems very little for what you get back in return – I’ve been using greymatter since september anyway so I’m not really affected. It does mean I guess I’ll need to move my archives over to this somehow – maybe putting all my old blogger posts into one posting at the start of GM but any other suggestions would be welcome.