Happy (belated) Birthday to Ian at Blogadoon. Not his real birthday obviously but his blog is 5. Yay!
A few other belated real Birthdays have been happening recently too like Scally for instance.
okay so now you can sell practically anything on ebay be prefixing it with the word chav or scally. as in scally’s used footie shorts – see they will sell much quicker and for more money than your regular footie shorts. especially if you add the phrase ‘gay int?’ to the end.
There are even gay clubs trading on chav appeal. dress code is trackie bottoms and rockports obviously. and if you want you can add a bit of bling too.
So now whilst reading axm it would appear that scally culture has permeated as low as the chatline.
“My life on a rough Liverpool council estate” Robbie, 18 “Hear what me & me scally mates get up to” Dial 0909 0600 XXX
See now I grew up north of Liverpool and the scouse accent has always been easy for me to mimic. In fact I have used that to my benefit at times if you catch my drift.
So anyway back to the chat lines. With titles like “Let DSS bloke **** me for a crisis loan” and “Me **** peeps out the leg of me shorts” oh and then the classic “****ed by the rozzers in the bogs” and “Let drug dealer have me a**e” you can be sure there are plenty of callers.
I laughed at the fact that every time they use the word lad, teen or young they had p ut (18+) afterwards and I imagined some american accent doing this as a voice over at the end of a cheezy commercial. “Actors all 18 years or older, some scenes may not be based on true events, and in no way indicates the personal preferences of the actors involved.” (but hey you know they like it when they play gay).
So I’ve decided to start m
ye own phone line. I’ll borrow heavily from the trackie bottom titles and do some fab scripts.
How about “Cheeky scouser scally boy(18+) does London” 078 0150 XXXX
Or “Shooting c*m down the leg of me trackies” no not floating your boat?
Okay this one will get you ringing, “I **** off into me mate’s skanky undies”. Well okay maybe not but it made me chuckle.
Right anyway I think it’s time for me to do some audio blogging. Feel free to email me ideas for script and I’ll do me best scouse accent like and split the £1/min with you.
Pics of me in trackie bottoms optional.
Worse than the whole Gay Int? thing on ebay is the rise of scally and chav gear. All I was looking for this time was an adidas top. So it looks like now if you have any second hand clothes you want rid of on ebay you just add the words chav or scally and maybe for good measure add gay int? to the end!
I am also probably a little sad as I got very excited over a…
vacuum cleaner last night. I bought a Dyson DC07 Animal and it arrived yesterday.
I never knew jack had so much hair!
Dinner and drinks in Clapham was very nice – The Rapscallion no longer does chocolate sushi for dessert but it was still a delicious meal. Briefly met up with Scally and Bo [text chef] to collect my ticket for purple in the park. Unfortunately it was already midnight by the time Andrew and I had finished dinner so it was a very brief meet up.
A fun evening last night with random encounters from the past. Went to meet Scally and Bruce at barcode and whilst waiting for them bumped into Chris and a number of exceedingly horny guys. I forgot barcode was full of cute guys. The boys arrived with Jenny in tow and then we continued drinking and catching up until the cute soon to be departing kiwi turned up. Brief introductions and then off to GAY.
Much flirting and merriment followed before suddenly it was 4am already and time to share a cab to south london.
yes I know it’s wednesday. Andrew and I went to Bar ABV for the quiz and managed a miraculous 29 [or something] forgot the actual amount as I was in shock at the double figures.
Michael from the bar did help us out a bit though 🙂
Scally is having trauma about flights – like whether to fly back from NY only to fly back out to Dulles the following day – international jet set eh? gotta love it
what a week end – the irish have a reputation for being friendly but I must say that they go far beyond this. I spent the weekend staying with a friend from work at his parents in Malahide [about 10 miles north of Dublin] and they not only put me up [even moving around so I had a room of my own] but also on a weekend they were having a family party and gran coming to stay as she was not well – hospitality was fantastic and lovely people. The flowers I got by way of a thank you seemed small and insignificant.
If anyone is over in Dublin by the way you can do far worse than taking a trip up that way – the beach is lovely and reminded me a lot of home [my parents basically live the opposite side of the Irish Sea].
On Friday night we went to HQ with work colleagues which was nice and then on Saturday went shopping with the girls and were due to visit the Guinness Brewery [davo has a cool perspex thingy with a blob of guinness in it] but we never managed it 🙁 so that is now on my hit list for next time. Allegedly there is a really cool bar too with views over the city but you need to go on the tour [or have a corporate function] to get in there.
Saturday evening we started off in Pravda and then moved to Q bar [a straight version] and then onto Fireworks which was fantastic. I never normally do straight pubs and clubs but had a really good time. Fireworks used to be the fire station and is now a huge 3 floor pub/club venue which would go down well in London – so I highly recommend it.
I also learnt that scally has broken his arm [poor lamb] on Saturday. Go send him a card or something 🙂
WARNING: long post
Okay well today is Tuesday and it has been non stop partying since arriving in Sydney on Friday night.
Bettina who I am staying with [and her sister Linda] is wonderful and so generous. She picked me up from the airport and took me out into town after dropping my bags off at their house. We ended up at the Imperial after a troll down Oxford street. The Imperial is the bar in Priscilla Queen of the Desert where they start out from. It is a wierd mix of small bars and a club area downstairs but not a place I would recommend highly.
Saturday B and her lovely other half Margi took me to Bondi for breakfast and then tried to show me how to body surf – I was not very successful I must admit . Followed by a trip to the shops. It was ‘Shop yourself Stupid’ a charity shop-a-thon here in Sydney for AIDS charities. So lots of shows, drag artists and the like on street corners and on the back of trucks. Ooh and a cute boy in a shower cubicle on Oxford Street doing a bit of dancing with not much on. Bought a nice new shirt with Velcro fastening which went down very welll that night when I met up with David and we went out for drinks with Kim and Matt. We got stupidly drunk – well actually the four of them where stupidly drunk when I arrived at Scally’s hotel room and I just played catch up.
Matt, Scally and I then ended up at Oxford street and eventually I headed off home.
Sunday I was not too well – a bit of a cold – I know how do you get a cold in sunny Sydney? Anyways stayed in bed for a bit with Max the cat and then got up and helped Bettina with her hair. Margi had started it with strips of blue fabric. Linda and I then had a rethink and did Bjork style bunches with the blue lame? [shiny blue stuff]. It looked fantastic but I do not think I will be opening a salon in the near future!
They managed to source an extra ticket to the Harbour Party – a very difficult thing to do by all accounts as tickets had long since sold out and the lines to actually buy them in the first place had started at midnight the day before they went on sale.
On our way to the party a car pulled up and a guy came up to us looking puzzled and then decided he did not recognise me. It turned out he did I had just had my hair shaved and was wearing my contacts. Brad I used to know in London – he went out with a friend of mine [James] – I thought he was living in Adelaide so had not bothered trying to contact him for the trip. Turns out he is living in Sydney and was on his way back from the airport – he now works as a trolley dolley for Ansett! He was also going to the harbour party so we arranged to meet up and catch up later – wierd co-incidence or what?
So I ended up having a fantastic night – overlooking the opera house and the harbour bridge with 3,500 assorted fags and dykes partying under the stars. It was truly wonderful. I cannot thank the girls enough or Brad for that matter
Seeing Brad was realy wierd – I will be posting that one to Meg‘s Strangely Familiar site when I return!
Yesterday was another lazy day really – went on the farry across to Manly with Scally and had loads of fun in the sun – after a quick meet up with Kier and Liam who are also over. Then went back and got changed and over to scally’s hotel again. Met Fran – yes another of the London crowd who is over for Mardi Gras and went out for Dinner and drinks. Scally and I ended up at Stonewall where he pulled within minutes and I danced myself to exhaustion on the podium [no change there for me then].
Woke up with swollen sore eyes and had to take a trip to the doctors – I have an opthalmic bacterial pathogen so am on antibiotics. Was supposed to be meeting with Brad today but have decided to stay in the garden instead and read. Then will meet up later at the Albury to see Pam Ann. We usually see her in the 2 brewers at home so it will be wierd to see her in her home town ofr a change – she has flown over for a one off Mardi Gras Special.
Scally and I need to sort out costumes for Mardi Gras too as Margi has arranged for us to be on the 2001: a sex oddessey float. So we will be participating instead of spectating – can’t wait. Hope my eyes are better by then.
Also gonna try and change my flights on the way back to spend some more time in Singapore and catch up with Naz.
Sorry for the extremely long update today but I have been busy enjoying myself offline for a change
Happy Happy Happy – and so blissed out it is untrue – I wanna move to sydney woo hoo.
local time of post – 12:46 – lunchtime – and hot as hell
okay well here is the deal – in true dave-o stylee I am gonna do a quick week-end in hypertext? because all that gossip will just not fit into one post – and also because I actually have some work to do this morning – I only have 2 and a bit days of work left before my Singapore and Sydney trip.
friday: was my birthday, did very little at work, went out for drinks with scally here and then went back to his to watch this.
saturday: got a cab to waterloo to catch this, then arrived here for the week-end. drank way too much of this [well a cheaper french version actually], and had too little sleep.
sunday: got up late, missed breakfast, wandered around here, paid ?28 for 4 burgers, fries and drinks. arrived here and caught this back home. went online to visit here, here and here.