*

*terms and conditions may apply, may contain nuts, may not be valid in all countires, subject to staus, only available for a limited period, etc etc

I so hate small print – no really I do. All these stupid offers for things which you can’t use because some stupid bit of small print says hey no way can you get a good deal matey.
I’d like to go to San Fransisco for SF Pride so on the site it says I can get a faggot discount if I fly United <scally> I want to fly United as they are Star Alliance </scally> and so called with the code but hey it’s only valid in the US – boo.
Then I want to go on holiday next week and every lastminute deal has stupid exception as to why you can’t just book and go. GRRRRR It’s enough to make you want to go on holiday…

Mrs Scouse

When I worked for Danny La Rue I worked with a number of other Iain’s and we had a couple of regulars also caled Iain so it was a pretty confusing place. In order to make it less complicated for our colleagues and friends we adopted a number of nicknames – some of which have stuck into later life and some which were dropped fairly quickly.
The chef became scottish Iain, Ian who worked accross the street in Foyles became Ian Foyles and I became Iain Scouse. Ian who I lived with remained just Ian – not sure how he managed that but he did.
We worked with a guy from LA called Stevie and before he moved back permenantly to the US we took him up to Liverpool to see some of the North.
As we were pulling into my parents driveway he got all flustereed and turned to James, Ian and I and said “so what do I call your parents then, Mr and Mrs Scouse?”
He was genuinely suprised when we told him Scouse was a nickname.
As you can imagine we didn’t hold it together very well and laughter ensued at every reference to scouse from then on 😉

You know how…

I said I wanted an iPod? Well it looks like it could pay for itself in no time 😉
Using nothing more than one of Apple’s iPod portable music players, a youth in the US stole more than ?400 worth of software!
When Apple released the iPod, they were well aware that if the user so desired, it could be used to download illegal music from the web. However, little did they know that a US teenager woulld find an even more illegal way of using it. Apparently a youth walked into a large US computer store, plugged his iPod into a Macintosh that was on display, then via the FireWire connection proceeded to download its software onto his iPod. Most ironic of all, the iPod would not have even had to leave his pocket during this time. Once the FireWire lead is plugged in, the Macintosh recognises it and instantly creates a desktop icon for it. From here all you need do is drag and drop files from the computer to the iPod!
According the shop in question, the thief got away with a copy of Microsoft Office for Mac OS X, which is worth over ?400, plus a number of smaller applications! Now you may say, how the heck did he fit all this software onto an iPod? Well the iPod has a huge 5GB storage capacity and with the FireWire connection it can transfer 200MB, about the size of the Mac version of Microsoft Office, in about 1 minute!

HaXoR ChAt iS KewL

The below transcript is true only the names have been changed [mine noticeably] to protect the innocent – on the other hand if you wanna IM HR CL Direct and warn them a few times feel free 🙂
I knew it was a hAxOr type person and was bored so played with there head and tried to transfer a few files etc etc..

HR CL Direct: Human Resources Center – Please review the new announcements.
SCREEN NAME: what new announcements?
HR CL Direct: have you reviewed them yet so i can go over them with you?
SCREEN NAME: yeah obviously
HR CL Direct: okay whats the title of the announcement
SCREEN NAME: ha ha
SCREEN NAME: you are funny
SCREEN NAME: what floor you on?
HR CL Direct: fine i will deactivate your account
SCREEN NAME: like erm I’m scared
HR CL Direct: you can call the helpdesk or speak
HR CL Direct: with your supervisor
SCREEN NAME: help desk?
SCREEN NAME: supervisor?
HR CL Direct: to go over ignored HR announcements
SCREEN NAME: i don’t have a supervisor
HR CL Direct: Title: Tech Manager Department: Internal Computing
HR CL Direct: Cell Phone: 555-444-6613
HR CL Direct: Floor: 1 Room/Pod: Will update
HR CL Direct: Building Address: Building 25
SCREEN NAME: right which is I guess in the US right?
HR CL Direct: yup
SCREEN NAME: which helps considering I don’t live or work in the US
HR CL Direct: and
HR CL Direct: Title: Executive Director Department: VP Internal Audit
SCREEN NAME: who do you work for
HR CL Direct: it doesn’t matter you are ignoring human resources announcement
SCREEN NAME: and more importantly who do you think I work for?
HR CL Direct: you will lose your account
HR CL Direct: you must review the announcement.
SCREEN NAME: how can I lose my aim account cos I ignore this
HR CL Direct: or i will have to disable your aol account, you can speak with the desk
SCREEN NAME: i don’t have an aol account i have an aim account
HR CL Direct: you have to review the announcement, it takes 2 minutes what is the problem?
HR CL Direct: i know that
SCREEN NAME: the problem is i don’t work for you
HR CL Direct: fine we will suspend you
HR CL Direct: enjoy.
SCREEN NAME: doh you did not know that or you would not have *threatened* to deactivate my aol account now would you
HR CL Direct: no our aim administrators will suspend your account
HR CL Direct: so it can never be used again
HR CL Direct: for not following directions
HR CL Direct: enjoy.
SCREEN NAME: ha ha
SCREEN NAME: like erm how
SCREEN NAME: let me see then you reckon you can deactivate my aim account eh?
SCREEN NAME: how about we play a little game eh?
SCREEN NAME: you try and I’ll erm wait or something
SCREEN NAME: still waiting
SCREEN NAME: no really still waitin
SCREEN NAME: so you get bored yet then?

Merry Christmas Everyone

hope everyone has had [or is still having for those of you in the US] a fabulous and merry christmas. It truly has been a family christmas for me for the first time in a few years. My brother, sister-in-law, neice, nana, grandad, mum, dad, and numerous aunts and uncles are all staying at my parents for a hectic but fun christmas dinner. a joint effort thankfully or my mum would have collapsed with the effort I think.

so whereever you are and whatever you are doing have a great time.

I woke up this morning

I woke up this morning thinking I had had a bad dream – unfortunately I knew it was real. Seeing the pictures this morning of the rubble that was once the World Trade Centre I just felt numb.
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