Mrs Scouse

When I worked for Danny La Rue I worked with a number of other Iain’s and we had a couple of regulars also caled Iain so it was a pretty confusing place. In order to make it less complicated for our colleagues and friends we adopted a number of nicknames – some of which have stuck into later life and some which were dropped fairly quickly.
The chef became scottish Iain, Ian who worked accross the street in Foyles became Ian Foyles and I became Iain Scouse. Ian who I lived with remained just Ian – not sure how he managed that but he did.
We worked with a guy from LA called Stevie and before he moved back permenantly to the US we took him up to Liverpool to see some of the North.
As we were pulling into my parents driveway he got all flustereed and turned to James, Ian and I and said “so what do I call your parents then, Mr and Mrs Scouse?”
He was genuinely suprised when we told him Scouse was a nickname.
As you can imagine we didn’t hold it together very well and laughter ensued at every reference to scouse from then on 😉


A collection of things written for various reasons to answer questions people had about me whilst they visited the site. It is by no means definitive, I wrote it back in 2002 and I was 32 by that point so you know some things may have been missed out. I should also point out that I have now moved from Streatham to Balham which has been much better for my social life. I still work for the same company but I do less training and more operations stuff.

Some of my friends call me world or mundo depending on where they are from which is kind of wierd really when you think about it – there is this while group of people out there that have no idea what my real name is because all they call me is <scouse>world</scouse>.

I work for an internet service provider, training people in new technologies and proprietary software. In my spare time I like to play with things to see if I can break them or make them work in other ways. I get bored part way through things [low attention span which I am convinced is because I was born 47 days premature]. I go out a lot too so don’t always update stuff, but sometimes I do update and it’s all about being out so read into that what you will. 

On February 9th, 1970 approximately 47 days too soon [due on March 27th boy did they get a shock] I arrived at Fazakerley Hospital in Liverpool. I was so premature that I weighed only 2.2lbs [the exact weight of a bag of sugar]. Back in those days we still used pounds and ounces – none of this kilo malarkey.
I lived in Bootle briefly until my parents moved me to Crosby – my elder brother had been getting into problems [typical scouser? you tell me… he tried to burn down Hugh Baird Technical College with his mate Jamie then aged 5] So by the age of 1 I was living in suburbia, I wasn’t the only one though, Cherie Booth QC lived there and Robert Runcie too. Everything ticked along fine until aged around 7 my parents [well actually my dad] moved us to Blundellsands.

Sensitive child that I am I was crying my eyes out thinking I was leaving all my memories in the old house – not realising that actually it wasn’t that far away – come on give me a break though I was only 7.
I went to Manor High School in Crosby where I made a large number of acquaintences and a few very close friends. Although I lived in the perfect house for parties, that never seemed to happen, well not until after I left school.
I stayed at Manor for sixth form – mainly because I was too lazy to look at going to college and spent most of my time busy with school plays and other social activities. No big suprise then when I failed all 4 of my ‘A’ Levels including General Studies which has to be said is possibly the most piss easy excuse for a subject known to man or child. I also blame BBC Micro and that damn space game [elite] and the strangely addictive Mr Eee for my lack of good grades.

So then onto Southport College for a second round of ‘A’ Levels – the first set of results being pretty useless for further education. Let’s face it here I was after all unlikely to get into gear and look for a job so the only possible choice was University or Polytechnic. I had come to the conclusion that it was extremely unlikely I would get a place at University [although my plan originally was to go to Stirling].

I managed to attain 3 reasonable grades in one year in subjects I had hitherto never taken and then was offered clearing. After pondering what to do next for about 3 seconds I took a place at Polytechnic of North London [yes it was that long ago and yes it is now a University!]
I moved to London and basically never went back. I’ve made lots of friends and lived lots of places and one of the nice things about this site is it helps me keep in touch with people and them in touch with me.

After University I moved home briefly – yes I know I just said that basically I never left London after I moved down – but I did try to live back up North it wasn’t like I didn’t try.
Well anyway I worked in a Quasar centre and made lots of new friends and had lots of parties for which I should belatedly thank my parents for having the coolest party throwing house in the world – except maybe for Tom and Nicole Cruises kids or maybe Bill Gates kids. Essentially it was a pretty nifty pad for parties and we used it for a few months in that phase of my life, which,I look back upon and wonder how I managed to remain STD free for so long.

The lure to move back to London was strong though and after meeting Danny La Rue and being offered a job running his bar I made a split second decision to move to Soho. Split second? Really there was no decision.
I lived in Soho for a while managing bars and then moved out of town. Life got kinda you know different again when I worked for Bass and managed a pub in Putney, again making lots of new friends [most of whom know me by the moniker world] before finally quitting pub work for a more sane existence.

Currently living in Streatham and getting used to the area. Working in Hammersmith and not getting used to the area.
So that’s me really not much more to add – well actually there is this has been 32 years in the making after all. So if you want to know more you know where I am. Oh and did I mention mines a Vodka and Cranberry?

Iain Croll
1970 – 2002