frustration

I watched a film this evening which seemed to touch every emotion in me. Defying Gravity was frustrating, sweet, funny, annoying, cringeworthy, and sexy. I t made me much more horny than any porno film could. The fact that it reminded me so much of when I was coming out was kind of scary.
I remembered vividly on my way home U2, With or without you. It was my theme for 1987 and it was when I had finally accepted I was never going to be like all my other friends.
I knew well before that, that I was different but 1987 was the first time I accepted that although I was different I was also not going to lie and try to be something I wasn’t.
If you haven’t seen defying gravity I recommend it. Although very cheesy, and painful at times, the emotional reminders of your youth whether you are straight or gay will be worth it.
Sexy leads and never quite shown or mentioned love lives left me horny to the point of being frisky. Spence and Glenn had to contend with ‘Frisky Iain’ this evening.

I also admitted to myself this evening why I had been in such a miserable mood these past few weeks and especially today. I had been putting it off but it was inevitable really. I am so doing the escapism thing with films at the moment.

On the gossip front today I discovered that Blogger E had managed to have his wicked way with a certain young secret santa. So that’s a whole new blogabet quiz I reckon!

panic room

Went to see Panic Room this evening with Glenn at the Odeon in Streatham. Was really good. I’ve been watching a lot of films recently and I’m not sure if it is escapism or not. Yesterday I was very hungover from a Saturday night of drunken debauchery. I had to be dragged for breakfast at the local greasy spoon and then back to veg out at Spence and Glenn’s.
We watched Personal Services and followed that with Blade. Then after I finally managed to get up enough energy to get off the sofa and make my way to my own home I watched Four Weddiings and a Funeral.

I’ve also been having a fun time getting to know new people over the weekend. Unusual for me to widen my circle of friends so much in one weekend.
Admittedly they were all Spence’s friends I met, well witht he exception of Carole & Paul that is! Bren lives right around the corner from me and was the first person to welcome me to the world that is out in the UK when I signed up in February last year. I met him a couple of weeks ago but Friday was the first time I really chatted to him properly. Nice.

Anyway I am rambling now cos I am tired and ready for bed.

Alcohol is NOT our friend

Saturday
Spence, and Glenn along with David [yes another one] and Benjy and I had dinner in Leicester Square. The table next to us managed to set their candle on fire – yes I know they are supposed to burn but not the entire thing all at once. The waiter casually opened the door to prevent the smoke alarms from activating ina a manner that suggested it may be a common occurence. We were joined later by Scally and the lovely Bruce for coffee before heading over to Barcode for a couple of drinks. Oh and meeting Chris again too.

Sunday
Pub lunch with alcohol and smutty comments about 20 year old waiters and 18 year old bar men, with Spence, Glenn and David [yes yet another david – common as muck that name] was followed by coffee back at mine and then yet more drinks and smutty conversation at bar ABV.
I then ventured into soho to meet up with Dave, Tom, Simon and Bart. Poor Bart I think was a little overwhelmed by the banter and it only got worse from there. We started in the Friendly Society which I must say must be one of the most stupidly expensive and dark bars in London. May as well have been in a dark room for the amount we could see. Low ambient lighting I can cope with but when someone lights a cigarette and the entire bar lights up you have to wonder if they have taken subtlety to the limits. Village was a stagger [well 2 or 3 steps] away. Dave decided to enlighten Tom about some of my history – thanks. I then decided to embark on making it worse. Somethings you should never discuss whilst drunk. Like job interviews for Bass pubs 😉
Swiftly moving along Compton Street to Manto’s where Tom and I read a smutty comic in fits of giggles to be scolded repeatedly by the ever mature Mrs Davo. We also leered at some cute guy for a while before practically begging him not to leave – well we sort of did it quiet enough so he couldn’t hear and he left anyways without noticing.
All in all a very pleasant weekend with good company and way too much alcohol.

I’m sure there was something I was supposed to blog about Tom but can’t remember now – will need to ask him to remind me later 😉

Sunday – Thursday

Well the last few days have certainly included a lot of alcohol – in fact more alcohol than is possibly good for me.
Sunday saw Scally, Dave and myself in Clapham for dinner then the 2 Brewers to catch Pam Ann’s show – we were joined later by Paul and Dave [ensued a dodgy introduction of Dave meet Dave and erm, Dave].
Pam Ann was on top form, dragging a not especially reluctant Paul up on stage and removing his top, certain members of the group had to check their jaws for bruises as they picked them up off the floor 😉 Not too much alcohol involved due to the sewers being short staffed and the bar being packed.
Monday saw wine at home with other friends and Tuesday saw impromptu drinks after work for Janice’s Birthday which was supposed to be a preamble to the pop quiz but ended up much later with Reindeer Skins and Leather Sofa’s and talk of the Ice Hotel. Sadly this left Dave on his own for the quiz.
Last night saw dinner at mine with Spence, Glenn and Andrew before heading off to the ABV bar in Streatham to drink even more.
Seeing Jacs tonight for drinks too and a busy weekend planned so it looks like no rest for me – I shall not complain though 😉 I’ve done enough of that recently and besides I am still on holiday – honest!

increased awareness

Meg was just talking about this. I was thinking about it this time last week but couldn;t think how to express it – so I’ll just tell you about it and you can reword it in your own head.
I was reading Nick Hornby – How to Be Good which was a christmas gift and very very funny. I sat onthe tube with Spence and Glenn and the guy next to me was reading the same book – okay not a big deal really. He was on exactly the same page though and that did freak me out a bit.
Now get this, Yesterday on the train to work I am reading one of my birthday gifts, Paul Bailey – Three Queer Lives and the guy opposite was also reading it. This never happened when I was reading Patricia Cornwell!

unrequited love


I went to see ‘The Fluffer‘ last night after seeing Adam and agreeing to take some photo’s and a very pleasant if somewhat unnerving chat about blogging, community and if there was anyone I wouldn’t want to read this blog .
The film was very funny and company was good too. Spence and Glenn, Colin & Dave [nice taste in A&F clothing]. I found myself laughing all the way through the film which was good – welcome light relief really – I like films with humour and drama.
Finally to end the evening it was a dash over to Retro Bar to grab a fleeting kiss off Blogger A and then home.
Glenn and I decided at the tube station that suited and booted guys are kinda cute – I miss not working in an environment where men are in suits. I mean I am glad I don’t have to wear one but I do like to see other people in them!
So anyways the chat with Adam came back to me so I decided since I may blog about said guy it was a good enough excuse to randomly take his picture. [Okay I didn’t really need an excuse he was cute] and then I thought about Simon‘s entry about people being in other peoples photographs – this was a definite case of tottycam though – it wasn’t a random person in the background. He was the focus of the shot but Glenn was there to make it slightly less obvious.
When I got home took Jack out for a wander too and came back and went online as I wasn’t tired – funny how my work day was a nightmare but my evening was just as hectic but much more pleasant.