Oh if only we had a gripe sheet too!

Airlines have a thing called a gripe sheet, its where pilots report niggly little problems about the plane when they land it goes to the engineering departent who then fix it and report back. This is some of the ones from Quantas:

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Service Engineer: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
SE: Suspect you’re right.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
SE: Live bugs on back-order.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
SE: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
SE: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
SE: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
SE: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
SE: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
SE: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
SE: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
SE: Took hammer away from midget.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
SE: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
SE: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
SE: Evidence removed.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
SE: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

gay marriages

Well over at Jonathan’s they are celebrating 11 happy years together. Which is sweet. Really heart warming stuff.
In the meantime though religion is striking out and John Howard is making a fool of himself again.
So basically the catholic church (never known for it’s ‘christian’ compassion) is saying that men and women who are in love and want to spend their lives together should be frowned upon. In fact actually more than frowned upon they should be abhorred. Although perversely it seems to be fine for members of their own clergy to abuse children. So how do they justify this stance? Oh that’s right they don’t. With one in three marriages ending in divorce you would think that they would be opening their arms (if not their hearts) to the gay population. Let’s face it religion is going down the pan. Numbers are dwindling and those in power seem to have lost touch with the world whilst they sit in their ivory tower Vatican city.
In the meantime over the other side of the globe Australia’s Prime Minister is referring to marriage as a bedrock institution and has been traditionally seen as between a man and a woman. Well Mr Howard Slavery was once an institution and was commonly between a white man and a black man. It doesn’t mean it should remain that way. People evolve and cultures do to. Discrimination on grounds of colour or race or sexual orientation or sex or ability is wrong. For a man in his position to even attempt to justify discrimination is morally reprehensible.
I’ll end my rant there I think…

“Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet” – Napoleon

stupid trains

So in the autumn we have delays on trains due to leaves on the line. In the winter we have delays because of snow. In spring we have the wrong type of rain causing the lines to be slippy. Now in the summer…
We have delays because of heat! Allegedly the lines may buckle.
So basically whatever the weather our trains are going to be unreliable.

mardi gras pictures

Okay I know I’m a bit lax – thankfully Spence isn’t as bad and has put up his pics of Mardi Gras too 😉

friendship…

Are you tired of all those mushy “friendship” poems that always Sound good
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a “friendship”
poem that really speaks true friendship and truth itself:

Friend, when you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the bastard [or bitch if you are a fella] who made you sad.

When you are blue, I’ll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile, I’ll know you finally got some.

When you are scared, I will tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to stop whining.

When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it to your dumb
ass.

When you are sick, stay away from me until you’re well again. I don’t want
what you’ve got.

When you fall, I will try to keep from laughing.

This is my oath, I pledge ’til the end. Why, you ask? Because you Are my
friend.

Send this to ten of your friends then get depressed because You realise
you only have two, and one of them is not speaking to you Right now.

And always remember: A friend will help you move house. But a Really good
friend will help you move a body.

why is everything so complicated?

Okay so picture this…
Mortgage application. You need a few documents to support it. You give your financial advisor them all. He passes them on to the relevant companies. They ask for more. His admin assistant is now dealing with it and between them it has now taken 5 weeks to process. I mean come on. Friday the admin assistant called to say the mortgage company hadn’t received a document from work confirming my salary. Now they have 6 months worth of pay slips. How hard is it to add them up and multiply by two? I mean really?
Okay so work ‘forgot’ to send the details on Friday. So the admin assistant calls back today – now we start again (although it’s practically a week later grrrrr).
I mean how hard can it be to pick up the phone or fax a document. I wouldn’t mind if we weren’t paying them for the application.
Gah! The flat we are moving to is empty. I’m not selling mine. There is no chain. How hard can it be…

fruitstock

Those lovely people at innocent drinks have come up with a great event on 9th & 10th August fruitstock. Shame it clashes badly with Brighton & Hove Pride.

smilers

How cool are these first class stamps you can personalise? I love them. I can imagine someone trying to get pr0n ones done though 😉

Pride in the Park

Well actually it was more like Pride in the Rain. Matt summed the rain up with the phrase ‘God hates gays’. Still it was an excellent day made all the better for not having to traipse halfway accross London after the march!
Full review and some pics to follow. In the meantime Glenn has some pics of my stomach…