Are you tired of all those mushy “friendship” poems that always Sound good
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a “friendship”
poem that really speaks true friendship and truth itself:

Friend, when you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the bastard [or bitch if you are a fella] who made you sad.

When you are blue, I’ll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile, I’ll know you finally got some.

When you are scared, I will tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to stop whining.

When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it to your dumb

When you are sick, stay away from me until you’re well again. I don’t want
what you’ve got.

When you fall, I will try to keep from laughing.

This is my oath, I pledge ’til the end. Why, you ask? Because you Are my

Send this to ten of your friends then get depressed because You realise
you only have two, and one of them is not speaking to you Right now.

And always remember: A friend will help you move house. But a Really good
friend will help you move a body.