staying in is the new going out

well it is! I couldn’t face another night out – my liver and kidneys are due to fail any minute. Despite Matt trying to convince me that it’s a waste of a Friday night.

notetoself: check the news

Okay so yesterday I was a bit busy with work and as I no longer sit on the floor the news team are on I sometimes miss the hot news stories.
So it turns out on the day I don’t watch the news or read a paper that lots happened.
— Ikea had an opening which ended ina stampede and riot with people ending up in hospital. I mean it’s only cheap furniture for gods sake. It’s not like there aren’t other stores in the London area.
— Prince Charles is to marry. So is Camilla Parker Bowles. Oh yeah to each other.

happy birthday to me :o)

So I’m a little older today than I was yesterday (although that is true of everyday). So I bought myself a present. A flight to Singapore/Sydney/Bangkok/Singapore/London – just in time for Harbour Party and Mardi Gras. Oh and of course Jo’s Birthday!
Plus I get to visit Ian in Thailand which is cool – been promising I’d do that for years.
The presents you get yourself are normally the best but flights are brilliant :o)
Matt got me a great gift – a months subscription to the non work friendly all american heroes website. ;o) Porn the gift that keeps on giving LOL!
And northy got me…
boysuncovered.jpg

43+23=

Okay so I got a Vegetarian sausage & mash meal from tesco today and whilst waiting for it to cook read the ingredients. So 43% potato (that’s the mash) and 23% vegetarian sausages (that’s the sausage then). That’s 66% sausage and mash. so what exactly is the 34% difference all about? yipes.
It was lovely though.

I love porn


I love porn

Originally uploaded by 8lettersuk.

I’ve had a tee shirt design as my mobile wallpaper for ages – the 5uck my d1.ck one. Also shown on flickr.
I saw this advert and it made me laugh out loud so time for a change.
It’s an advert for a chain of stores prowler.

now with added

okay so excellent placement and excellent wording. ‘with added str8 spunk!’

Sounds scarily like part of an advert for some laundry powder. New and improved now with added…

nicknames

Matt reckons people who use the same nickname on each website are mad as it makes it easy to view their different profiles. It always makes me laugh when people have ‘safer sex – always’ on one website and a profile on bareback.com. Not sure how they think that is safer but anyway. I do tend to use the same nickname on each site – but having taken his advice recently set up a new profile with a departure from the tried and tested eightlettersuk/8lettersuk theme. The only major problem I have now of course is remembereing the username when I go to login ;o)
While we are on the subject of usernames another thing I forget is that I have millions of email addresses based on my work. So occaisionally I’ll email someone from an obscure test account forgetting I’m not using my main account. Oh how it makes people laugh when they get mail from SouthLondonSW16. The other email mistake is obviously not going to make it into the public domain. Unless of course you know Matt and then he’ll no doubt have already told you.

kiwi bars

In New Zealand back in December there was a fire bombing in a bar called Flesh. Apparently 20 customers and staff had to be evacuated. So it must have been a busy night if Wellington’s bar was anything to go by. Although my noozleland mates assure me Auckland has a better scene than the nations capital.

Gay history month

I thought it was only in america that they had random monthly community spirited themes, but oh no, here in the UK we seem to have gay history month. So I’m picturing a month of queens blogging their jan/feb conquests. I’m sure this is not what the organisers had in mind. I think they want us to focus on the positive role models through time like Oscar Wilde or the turning points like 1988 when section 28 was passed as law. I think my idea is better though. So here I’ll make a start.
Iain’s Gay History Month
Met a nice man off the internet. Had fun.
Went out for beers. Had fun.
Had hangover at work.
Tried not to obsess about nice man off internet. Failed.
Went out for beers. Had fun.
Had hangover at work.

okay maybe I’ll pass up on this as it’s unlikely to be exciting unless I actually wrote who, what, where and when. That however is not goiong to happen. Well not on this site anyway!

the rise and rise of the scally

okay so now you can sell practically anything on ebay be prefixing it with the word chav or scally. as in scally’s used footie shorts – see they will sell much quicker and for more money than your regular footie shorts. especially if you add the phrase ‘gay int?’ to the end.
There are even gay clubs trading on chav appeal. dress code is trackie bottoms and rockports obviously. and if you want you can add a bit of bling too.
So now whilst reading axm it would appear that scally culture has permeated as low as the chatline.
“My life on a rough Liverpool council estate” Robbie, 18 “Hear what me & me scally mates get up to” Dial 0909 0600 XXX
See now I grew up north of Liverpool and the scouse accent has always been easy for me to mimic. In fact I have used that to my benefit at times if you catch my drift.
So anyway back to the chat lines. With titles like “Let DSS bloke **** me for a crisis loan” and “Me **** peeps out the leg of me shorts” oh and then the classic “****ed by the rozzers in the bogs” and “Let drug dealer have me a**e” you can be sure there are plenty of callers.
I laughed at the fact that every time they use the word lad, teen or young they had p ut (18+) afterwards and I imagined some american accent doing this as a voice over at the end of a cheezy commercial. “Actors all 18 years or older, some scenes may not be based on true events, and in no way indicates the personal preferences of the actors involved.” (but hey you know they like it when they play gay).
So I’ve decided to start mye own phone line. I’ll borrow heavily from the trackie bottom titles and do some fab scripts.
How about “Cheeky scouser scally boy(18+) does London” 078 0150 XXXX
Or “Shooting c*m down the leg of me trackies” no not floating your boat?
Okay this one will get you ringing, “I **** off into me mate’s skanky undies”. Well okay maybe not but it made me chuckle.
Right anyway I think it’s time for me to do some audio blogging. Feel free to email me ideas for script and I’ll do me best scouse accent like and split the £1/min with you.
Pics of me in trackie bottoms optional.