seederney mardee grah (Part 1)

Okay so I’ve been a bit slack with the update from Sydney Mardi Gras and my annual pilgimage to the southern hemisphere. What can I say – even Dave managed to get his account up before me this year!
I’ll have to get him back for the Stimpy comments somehow…

I have managed to upload a whole heap of pics though – so peruse them at your leisure. Not so many of things this year as there really are only so many Opera House and Harbour Bridge pics you can take ;o)

So here goes as much as I can remember from what was possibly the most drunken debauched three weeks of my life so far since last time.

Northy and I started the trip with some beers at London’s Heathrow Airport bar and a bit of bluetooth mayhem. We flew our seperate ways (long story) to arrive sydney 07:00 friday morning minutes apart. Met Jo and Northy and do the introductions.
The three of us head back to Jo’s house in Darlinghurst for a shower and a change before brunch on Oxford Street at Cafe Comity.
Wandered around and caught up before going for more beers and then home for a quick disco nap. Jason (Northy) and I ended up at my spiritual home The Colombian for a beer early evening before heading to the shift. we ended up in the club instead of the bar by mistake but this turned out to be very good. we stayed out until 5am and hoped this would counter any jetlag!

azure harbour party

Saturday was shop yourself stupid (name change) and then yet more beers. we ended up at what the sydneysiders have nicknamed the rsl because of it being so cheap! it’s palms. I met a nice boy in the toilet and then it turns out he knew Jo. small world. I was very very drunk and left the party early! Sadly not early enough. Felt awful the following day and that was sunday which meant it was time for… Harbour Party

Excellent as ever. lots of beautiful people. Bumped into half the world both outside and inside the party. There are only 5,000 people but it feels like much more.
Saw lots of people from London too.
Neither Northy nor I made it to any of the after parties as jetlag and the partying hard the night before prevented us being chirpy. We did however decide we should become club promoters and launch River Party on the banks of the Thames by the London Eye. But erm then we drank more and forgot about it.

recovery at the opera bar

So the following day was inevitably going to be a quiet one. Northy and I got up slightly earlier than Jo (who had stayed to party) and meandered through Pitt Street shopping heading down to circular quay for the Opera Bar for some brunch. We met Jo there and after a couple of beers a bottle or two of fizz and wine we all felt much better. In fact then we went for champagne tea at the QVB. So much for recovery then. More like starting all over again.
That evening was also less than subdued with more drinking and much more dancing involved. Various bars spring to mind but to be honest by this point I think we didn’t care where we were.

Tuesday was also a drinking day (can you spot a theme here?)

Wednesday morning bright and way too early the lovely Dave arrived from Wellington bearing gifts of Gold, Frank Rasberri Absolut, Apple Sours and Krispy Kreme Donuts. Yay! We then dragged him down the coast to the lovely Husky.

More to come…

waterford – more than crystal

So work have a warehouse call centre based in Waterford, Ireland and Nick and I came over to offer some training to one of the teams here. Sadly there is only one flight a day to Waterford from London Stanstead during the winter months so we opted to fly into Cork for a more convenient flight time. This meant flying easyjet – something I have never done before and was a bit concerned about. The more convenient flight time was 7am which meant getting to Gatwick for 5:30ish which is no mean feat on a Sunday Monring. Check-in was shambolic with no real system in place and people having no idea where they should be or when their flights left. Once checked in though it was actually not that bad. No seating means the plane fills up quite quickly and people tend to group together anyway.

Cork airport has open fires when you arrive. Making you feel like you have just entered someones living room – still I guess with so few flights a day there is little need to catch up with the 20th century.
Took a detour to Blarney Castle on what was possibly the windiest day of the year. Scary winds and heights combined to make the trip very memorable. Pictures to follow no doubt.

On to Waterford in the lovely upgraded car from Avis. A nice little Saab which confused me by not having keys and everytning being done by a fob that slots in by the gear stick. Nice drive down the N25 and then stopped at the office briefly and onto Waterford Crystal which is practically next door. It’s like the place that time forgot. Christmas decorations still up and lots of dust. The video was priceless from the 80’s. Plus everything very expensive. So nothing for my mum then!

We stayed in Tramore at the fabulous coast townhouse. Nothing prepared me for the welcome. The rooms are fabulous, cd players, comfy lazy boy chairs, huge beds, subtle lighting, great bathrooms, I wanted to move in. The food is as good if not better than the townhouse itself. Every little detail taken care of. plumping the cushions for you, carrying your drinks for you from the bar. you feel like you don’t need to raise a finger. The whole atmosphere is vibrant yet cosy with modern twists encompassed in an old world charm.

Ordering food off the menu is something I am used to but the reaction here was one of glee. Normally it’s met with disdain. My roasted vegetables were beautiful and make me want to become a restaurant critic purely so I could proselytise about coast.

I’m going to see if I can get a group of people from London to come on a trip.

notetoself: check the news

Okay so yesterday I was a bit busy with work and as I no longer sit on the floor the news team are on I sometimes miss the hot news stories.
So it turns out on the day I don’t watch the news or read a paper that lots happened.
— Ikea had an opening which ended ina stampede and riot with people ending up in hospital. I mean it’s only cheap furniture for gods sake. It’s not like there aren’t other stores in the London area.
— Prince Charles is to marry. So is Camilla Parker Bowles. Oh yeah to each other.

happy birthday to me :o)

So I’m a little older today than I was yesterday (although that is true of everyday). So I bought myself a present. A flight to Singapore/Sydney/Bangkok/Singapore/London – just in time for Harbour Party and Mardi Gras. Oh and of course Jo’s Birthday!
Plus I get to visit Ian in Thailand which is cool – been promising I’d do that for years.
The presents you get yourself are normally the best but flights are brilliant :o)
Matt got me a great gift – a months subscription to the non work friendly all american heroes website. ;o) Porn the gift that keeps on giving LOL!
And northy got me…
boysuncovered.jpg

the rise and rise of the scally

okay so now you can sell practically anything on ebay be prefixing it with the word chav or scally. as in scally’s used footie shorts – see they will sell much quicker and for more money than your regular footie shorts. especially if you add the phrase ‘gay int?’ to the end.
There are even gay clubs trading on chav appeal. dress code is trackie bottoms and rockports obviously. and if you want you can add a bit of bling too.
So now whilst reading axm it would appear that scally culture has permeated as low as the chatline.
“My life on a rough Liverpool council estate” Robbie, 18 “Hear what me & me scally mates get up to” Dial 0909 0600 XXX
See now I grew up north of Liverpool and the scouse accent has always been easy for me to mimic. In fact I have used that to my benefit at times if you catch my drift.
So anyway back to the chat lines. With titles like “Let DSS bloke **** me for a crisis loan” and “Me **** peeps out the leg of me shorts” oh and then the classic “****ed by the rozzers in the bogs” and “Let drug dealer have me a**e” you can be sure there are plenty of callers.
I laughed at the fact that every time they use the word lad, teen or young they had p ut (18+) afterwards and I imagined some american accent doing this as a voice over at the end of a cheezy commercial. “Actors all 18 years or older, some scenes may not be based on true events, and in no way indicates the personal preferences of the actors involved.” (but hey you know they like it when they play gay).
So I’ve decided to start mye own phone line. I’ll borrow heavily from the trackie bottom titles and do some fab scripts.
How about “Cheeky scouser scally boy(18+) does London” 078 0150 XXXX
Or “Shooting c*m down the leg of me trackies” no not floating your boat?
Okay this one will get you ringing, “I **** off into me mate’s skanky undies”. Well okay maybe not but it made me chuckle.
Right anyway I think it’s time for me to do some audio blogging. Feel free to email me ideas for script and I’ll do me best scouse accent like and split the £1/min with you.
Pics of me in trackie bottoms optional.

Brighton Pride [London on Sea]

It was brighton pride this weekend. So a group of us travelled down on Friday night to make the most of the weekend. Allan, Jacs, Helen and I stayed at the Old Ship Hotel down on the seafront (and very nice it was too). We travelled down with Northy and whilst he went to Richie and Tara’s to settle in we checked in and got changed before meeting at a restaurant for more wine than food.
We then moved onto Dr Brightons for more drinks and meeting up with yet more people. It seemed like half of London was down already.
Saturday morning and we were up early for breakfast and to catch the start of the parade. It turns out (having compared photo’s) that Jan from work and I were stood really close but didn’t see each other.
After being shocked to see some mates int he parade (in the police section) we headed to the bar for some beers. I made a detour to boots for some essential medicine and then we all headed to Preston Park for festivities. This was when we realised all of London was in Brighton.
It was one of the hottest days of the year so far and with no breeze to speak of it became unbearably hot. I was abstaining from beers as I was still under the weather from the previous week.

Circus Circus was our stop en route to the park and from it with lots of opportunity for people watching as the crowds thronged to and from the park.
Many people were looking slightly worse for wear by 7pm when we headed to the hotel for a quick change and to a party at Andy Roo’s newly refurbished flat in Kemp Town.

After drinks and food we headed back into town along the promenade – the pier was open late too and it was busier down on the beach than we expected.

Sunday was a day of relaxing on the beach and then for a lazy long lunch at Due South before heading to the St James Street Party.

Lots of discussions about clubbing together and buying a house/flat down there again this trip! I’m sure we’ll have the same ones when we head up to Manchester Pride though too.