note to self

i am a muppet it’s official – a mentally maladjusted muppet.

I can’t stand the heat so I’m staying out of the source code!
no really – a conversation today with meg today about needing to expand on the whole blogger a b etc etc and how I should at least be decent enough to put comments in the source code started me thinking.
well it didn’t actually as we all know I think very little – actions speak louder than thoughts is my motto – anyways to cut to the chase… I ahem viewed source on some well known weblogs and was *shocked* [actually I wasn’t I knew there must be some priority in that link list 😉 I only said I was shocked for drama value]
now would probably be a good time for me to advocate David’s new campaign…

and yes I will copy the image onto my server in the morning – it just seemed like hard work tonight after mark’s party at the retro bar! Oh and how do I always end up chatting to people and stuff and then finding out they aren’t even 21 yet – what is up with this picture?

“flashbacks of doing unmentionables down dodgy little side roads in Guildford”

no comment

Now that is supposed to be my conscience doing that – which reminds me – if he’s my conscience – what does that make me?

no really I do;

Colleague A: Should my Mailbox flag always show I have unread mail?
Colleague B: Have you read or opened all your mail?
Colleague A: well not sure if i’ve opened them before or not
Colleague A: if i had would it not appear then?
Colleague B: shouldn’t do
Colleague B: you can tell by the icon next to the mail [if it’s unread or new]
Colleague A: well i often open them and then save as new
Colleague B: which means the mail flag says you have unread mail

Doh! I mean come on I know it’s friday morning and all.

anyone would really be searching for fucktard casserole but they did and they somehow arrived here.
I hate to point it out but he wouldn’t taste nice. [well I can’t remember from the snog years ago] I suspect though he would be a bit tough [oh who am I kidding]. he couldn’t be tought if he tried 😉

Wendell and Cass have been devoted to each other for eight years at New York Aquarium they have even had sex. Only it now appears they are both boys 😉

In case any one was doubting who Blogger A-E were you can now take a test.

Turns out I am most like blogger B – who would have thought?

you know I really shouldn’t think so much – I am convinced that is part of the reason I have avoided staying in on my own this week. I have so started to over analyze and obsess. It can’t be good for me. It started with the wierd relationship I have with my friends. I have slept with most of them – not actually when they were friends but I used to go out with a lot of them and then after the relationship ended we remained friends. Many people think this is wierd but I really don;t think you can spend so much time getting to know someone and love them and then suddenly switch off completely having no more to do with them. So as I say I have a wierd relationship with my friends. I know them more intimately than is possibly good.
Sometimes I think that people remain friends after relationships because they can’t bear it to be over. They need to feel close still and hope as they say springs eternal. Then I wonder were this leaves me. Does this mean I am subliminally remaining friends with people in the hopes of some day revisiting the relationship, kind of like a back up plan. I know that this isn’t the case really but a little doubt creeps in now and again. If I actually think about sleeping with any of my ex’s it is something I know I could not do – kind of like thinking about sleeping with a girl I guess. All of a sudden the ex is no longer a person that is attractive sexually. A big change really from when you first met them it’s like a lifecycle I guess. So although I know I don’t find them sexually attractive anymore I still feel guilty about the history.
This last week I’ve been the complete opposite having slept with friends and now wondering what is the difference between a relationship and a friendship. If it is just sex then does that mean we are no longer friends? Surely it’s more complicated than that. Really though what do you share with a partner that you don’t with your friends? I certainly have relationships with my friends that include everything except the sex. I know I can call them anytime if I am worried or scared, happy or sad, sick or in full health. There is nothing I would not consider sharing with my friends. Does this mean I should only sleep with strangers? Somehow it doesn’t feel the same sleeping with someone you don’t have feelings for. Which means you become friends with someone you fancy and then hey back to square one I guess you end up sleeping with a friend.
so erm I think I’ve rambled enough now…