six feet under

I’m not sure what the point of channel 4’s advertising today was. They are advertising the last in the current series – okay off the back of that they are launching the new series on E4 next week butsurely advertising the end of a season is a bit lame – if you are hooked you already know it’s the last episode tonight and if you haven’t watched before you are not gonna want to watch the last in a series you haven’t seen any of…

Brewers Deux

Spent yesterday with David with various shopping chores including the hideous B&Q [again] and almost IKEA [again] and MAKRO [again] then decided we should really go out – I’d stayed in all weekend up to this point. So after a quick shot of vodka to steel our nerves we ventured to Clapham High Street for some chicken. So Nando’s first and a bottle of their cheapest Tinto. Turned out to be rather nice and washed the chuck down well. Then after consuming half a bottle each we moved onto the sewers. Since we had a taste for it we had a bottle there too – how camp is that eh? pretentious wine bar yes, two brewers no.
Hideously drunk later left earlyish and staggered homeward.
That’s my weekend in a nutshell.
Oh and did I mention I’ll be having someone use a speculum to keep my eyes open whilst they slice open my cornea and laser it in a fortnight? eep!


A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said “Hi, I’m lookin’ for a job.”.

The man behind the counter replied “Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You’ll have to drive around in a big black mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is ?200,000 a year.”.

The scouser said “Nah, you’re bullsh*tting me!”.

The man behind the counter said “Well you fu*kin’ started it!”.