Warning: Do not drink beer!

Shock and alarm was spread among Metro readers earlier today when it was reported that women in London have been utilising a new date rape drug known as ‘Beer’
‘Beer’ is applied to the target male in an attempt to make him say and do things that he would never normally do if her wasn’t intoxicated.
Such as going home with women that closely resemble three-piece suites, road kill, etc.
‘Beer’ has been identified in the following key constituencies:
The 12 – 92 age demographic, bars, pubs, clubs and park benches.
Police say ‘Beer’, unlike Rohipnol, is virtually undetectable in the victim, making evidentially-based prosecutions virtually impossible in the absense of a confession.


So last night around midnight what sounded like a car alarm went off – but it was a continuous noise. It went on for a while and even had me wondering if Du Cane had a fire alarm system we were unaware of! So then again there was a noise and a bit of crashing, it was just outside Matt’s room – a car outside – the horn went and i thought it was an alarm again and then it kind of died so i got up after about 10 minutes of it and looked out to see the car was on fire.
So I thought woo hoo you know what happens with fires. The fire brigade turn up 😉
So then the fire engine arrived and four nice firemen came out and put the fire out. Then a police van and a few nice policemen and then a police car.
They put it out and then all stood around chatting for a while. If you were into uniforms then you would have had trouble getting back to sleep!