happy birthday to me :o)

So I’m a little older today than I was yesterday (although that is true of everyday). So I bought myself a present. A flight to Singapore/Sydney/Bangkok/Singapore/London – just in time for Harbour Party and Mardi Gras. Oh and of course Jo’s Birthday!
Plus I get to visit Ian in Thailand which is cool – been promising I’d do that for years.
The presents you get yourself are normally the best but flights are brilliant :o)
Matt got me a great gift – a months subscription to the non work friendly all american heroes website. ;o) Porn the gift that keeps on giving LOL!
And northy got me…
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the rise and rise of the scally

okay so now you can sell practically anything on ebay be prefixing it with the word chav or scally. as in scally’s used footie shorts – see they will sell much quicker and for more money than your regular footie shorts. especially if you add the phrase ‘gay int?’ to the end.
There are even gay clubs trading on chav appeal. dress code is trackie bottoms and rockports obviously. and if you want you can add a bit of bling too.
So now whilst reading axm it would appear that scally culture has permeated as low as the chatline.
“My life on a rough Liverpool council estate” Robbie, 18 “Hear what me & me scally mates get up to” Dial 0909 0600 XXX
See now I grew up north of Liverpool and the scouse accent has always been easy for me to mimic. In fact I have used that to my benefit at times if you catch my drift.
So anyway back to the chat lines. With titles like “Let DSS bloke **** me for a crisis loan” and “Me **** peeps out the leg of me shorts” oh and then the classic “****ed by the rozzers in the bogs” and “Let drug dealer have me a**e” you can be sure there are plenty of callers.
I laughed at the fact that every time they use the word lad, teen or young they had p ut (18+) afterwards and I imagined some american accent doing this as a voice over at the end of a cheezy commercial. “Actors all 18 years or older, some scenes may not be based on true events, and in no way indicates the personal preferences of the actors involved.” (but hey you know they like it when they play gay).
So I’ve decided to start mye own phone line. I’ll borrow heavily from the trackie bottom titles and do some fab scripts.
How about “Cheeky scouser scally boy(18+) does London” 078 0150 XXXX
Or “Shooting c*m down the leg of me trackies” no not floating your boat?
Okay this one will get you ringing, “I **** off into me mate’s skanky undies”. Well okay maybe not but it made me chuckle.
Right anyway I think it’s time for me to do some audio blogging. Feel free to email me ideas for script and I’ll do me best scouse accent like and split the £1/min with you.
Pics of me in trackie bottoms optional.

Clapham Junction Mayhem


Clapham Junction Mayhem

Originally uploaded by 8lettersuk.

At 8:30 this morning Clapham Junction station ‘Britains busiest railway station’ was evacuated. How to bring south London to a standstill.

Brighton Pride [London on Sea]

It was brighton pride this weekend. So a group of us travelled down on Friday night to make the most of the weekend. Allan, Jacs, Helen and I stayed at the Old Ship Hotel down on the seafront (and very nice it was too). We travelled down with Northy and whilst he went to Richie and Tara’s to settle in we checked in and got changed before meeting at a restaurant for more wine than food.
We then moved onto Dr Brightons for more drinks and meeting up with yet more people. It seemed like half of London was down already.
Saturday morning and we were up early for breakfast and to catch the start of the parade. It turns out (having compared photo’s) that Jan from work and I were stood really close but didn’t see each other.
After being shocked to see some mates int he parade (in the police section) we headed to the bar for some beers. I made a detour to boots for some essential medicine and then we all headed to Preston Park for festivities. This was when we realised all of London was in Brighton.
It was one of the hottest days of the year so far and with no breeze to speak of it became unbearably hot. I was abstaining from beers as I was still under the weather from the previous week.

Circus Circus was our stop en route to the park and from it with lots of opportunity for people watching as the crowds thronged to and from the park.
Many people were looking slightly worse for wear by 7pm when we headed to the hotel for a quick change and to a party at Andy Roo’s newly refurbished flat in Kemp Town.

After drinks and food we headed back into town along the promenade – the pier was open late too and it was busier down on the beach than we expected.

Sunday was a day of relaxing on the beach and then for a lazy long lunch at Due South before heading to the St James Street Party.

Lots of discussions about clubbing together and buying a house/flat down there again this trip! I’m sure we’ll have the same ones when we head up to Manchester Pride though too.

It’s not grim up north

So Manchester was lots of fun. :o)
I spent a lovely friday afternoon in Green Park with my folks. We had a large picnic and lots of fun.
I then speeded across town to Leyton to meet Allan and drive up north. The new M6 Toll road was excellent and saved us heaps of time.
We checked into The Place and marvelled at the size of the apartment they had put us in. My two bedroom flat in Balham would fit into the lounge! The entrance hall was bigger than my bedroom. Anyway enough of the apartment.
We headed immediately to meet the boys on Canal Street. They were in Manto and due to the ridiculously inexpensive 2 for 1 offer on drinks we managed to get merry quite quickly.
Next item was food before heading to Via Fossa for more drinks and some disco dancing.
Saturday was spent mostly shopping and wandering around town after a leisurely lunch checking out the straight scally boys in the food hall.
A trip to Holmes Place in town for some much needed exercise, swimming and then some sauna action and steam room fun. Nothing seedy though I should report even though there was a rather nice young man in the steam room.
Allan and I managed to get some food for breakfast the following morning (planning ahead) and then we met at Velvet for food and drinks before heading to Queer and ending up at Essential.
Essential was excellent. Although being filmed for their TV show was not so much fun ;o) Mike and I stayed upstairs mostly but the rest stayed downstairs. The club is open to 8 and all in all I must say was very fun! More and more I’m thinking living in London isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Sunday was a leisurely breakfast at the apartment before a leisurely beer or three down Canal Street in the sun (something London definitely misses is outdoor seating on Old Compton Street) before we discovered the park and sat with the other boyz and girlz soaking up the sun and fun.
All in all a very relaxing and fun weekend away. I might have to do that more often. Brighton & Hove Pride, Manchester Pride in fact weekends away in general I think are the order of the day.

Manchester

here I come :o)
Weekend of partying for me and a few mates.
Looking forward to being out of London again for a short time!

train trauma

Today I was a tad late due to train trauma. Who said London had the best transport network in the world…
I usually get the train (with lots of colleagues) from Clapham Junction to Kensington Olympia at 09:08 but as the previous train (08:38) had been cancelled it was packed to capacity with people in with the driver ten minutes before it was scheduled to leave. So a few of us from work waited for the 09:25 sadly this though was cancelled. So the next train was due to leave at 09:38 and guess what… it was cancelled too!
Then the 10:03 was delayed so I was a late. Grrrrr
I did get to have a coffee and croissant and a long chat with some people from work I don’t see enough of though. So that was nice.

Washington DC

allan_iain.jpg capitol_night.jpg allan_trade.jpg
So Allan and I have spent the Easter weekend in Washington DC doing the usual tourist sights and staying at the Hyatt. It’s been a lovely weekend and I’ve introduced him to the delights of A&F.
We’ve spent a few nights eating and playing and discovered Lizard Lounge last night which was excellent and made a change from the cowboy hell that was Remingtons.
Just dropped him at the airport and come back to Reston to check into the lovely newly refurbished Hyatt Regency. Work for the rest of the week and then heading back to London for Saturday morning.
It’s been really lovely. Lots of pics which I’ll sort out when I get back.

Mini Ipods

After much rumour and debate Aplle announced at MacEXPO the launch of iPod mini They know their target market well I feel “Oh, one other minor detail, you can choose your iPod mini in one of five trend-setting colors: silver, gold, green, pink or blue. (All shiny.)”

It’s the last bit in brackets that gets me – everyone I know buys things because they are shiny. London is full of magpies ;o)

Warning: Do not drink beer!

Shock and alarm was spread among Metro readers earlier today when it was reported that women in London have been utilising a new date rape drug known as ‘Beer’
‘Beer’ is applied to the target male in an attempt to make him say and do things that he would never normally do if her wasn’t intoxicated.
Such as going home with women that closely resemble three-piece suites, road kill, etc.
‘Beer’ has been identified in the following key constituencies:
The 12 – 92 age demographic, bars, pubs, clubs and park benches.
Police say ‘Beer’, unlike Rohipnol, is virtually undetectable in the victim, making evidentially-based prosecutions virtually impossible in the absense of a confession.