Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Allegedly The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were
some of this year’s winning entries:

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, whenyou die, your Soul goes
up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist

friday diversions

1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not?

Nope – I try hard to be organised but, as any of my friends will tell you I am possibly the least organised person on the planet.

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly?

I use Meeting Maker at work which is fine and I have iCal on both my macs and my iPod but although I have spurts of using it I never really use it enough to rely on it.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now?

Neither my work or my home desk are organised. Never have been and probably never will be.

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter?

Another one of those starting with good intentions stories. I did start with all my CD’s in alphabetical order. Then you listen to them and put them back in the wrong place or buy some more and theres no space etc etc.
Books – hell no. DVD’s – I don’t own enough to worry.

5. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to organise?

Um. See I normally get other people to do the organising and I just tag along. I can’t plan things – it never works! I’m a spur of the moment kind of guy.

Photo Friday

This week’s challenge: “Urban“.

Links:
Friday Five
Photo Friday

Ivan Massow with his kit off

Yes you read that correctly. No I haven’t gone mad. No I am not fantasising either.
It will no doubt please the people who end up at this site searching for Ivan Massow Naked or any other variety of Massow sans clothing.
I’m wondering if it is his genitals on show or if he used a body double…

1986

I owned Pet Shop Boys – Disco on cassette – in the olden days 😉
At the weekend I was going through my old stuff and thought ‘I want to listen to that’ – then realised I didn’t have a cassette deck anymore!
So I nipped on over to amazon.co.uk to see how much it was and saw a little link to ‘Great Value on Used Items’. So I clicked it and received today a sparkly nearly new CD of the aforementioned album thanks to a nice man called Hugh in Lanarkshire.
It cost hardly anything (I know it’s the Pet Shop Boys) compared to buying the same album new.
I must have a quick look through my old cassettes and see what I want on CD!

WWTBAM

Who Wants to be a Millionaire cheat Major Charles Ingram has been found
dead at his home.

ITV say they feel partly responsible and will pay for the funeral but not
the coughin’.

Sick I know but I had to share it I’m afraid.

too busy

too busy having a life to document it this weekend – when I get a spare minute or so I’ll do a weekend in hypertext – we’ve not had one of those in a while!

People are speaking to me again

I’m back from Coventry 😉

Quite possibly the most boring week of my life – but hey I have a new qualification so that’s good!

gah

friends, boyfriends, exes, partners, straight boys, curious boys, bi boys, combinations of the above, it’s all so damn complicated I think I’ll just abstain.
Flirting should be punishable.

I’m being sent to Coventry

For a week – I mean what am I going to do in a hotel in the middle of nowhere all week?
I’m leaving on Sunday evening and am not looking forward to it – I think a lot of surfing the interwebnet will be happening – plus some use of the gym.
Not quite so glamourous as it used to be this business travel malarkey.

friday diversions

1. What was the last TV show you watched?

‘Scrubs‘ 2.15 “His Story”

2. What was the last thing you complained about and what was the problem?

I complain a lot – so keeping tracck is hard. I presume it was work related though and probably involved other people not doing something they should have.

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?

I told a colleague that her dress was nice (it was too).

4. What was the last thing you threw away?

This mornings newspaper and the bag my sausage sandwich came in.

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?

http://www.photofriday.com/.

Photo Friday

This week’s challenge: “Shadows“.
–>
Links:
Friday Five